MMMMMMM. holidays, i think I'm in love.

I'm extremely glad to say that the weather has finally cheered up, the sun has came out, and it's time for REAL summer to start.
And it started at the beginning of this week for me.
I finally have a great excuse to get out there, and enjoy the great outdoors! Gosh now the holidays has well and truly hit the spot ;)

Anyway, i recently came across this amazing website for anyone with a big imagination, and a large vocabulary. And a yearning for learning of course! :D

Check this out;
http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/

It's absolutely amazing for a rainy day, or anyone who finds themselves bored within seconds of being stuck in the house. It features a list of RANDOM creative writing prompts, something to get just about anyone thinking.
Knowing me and my love for randomness, I was instantly hooked.
I had the sudden realization that I absolutely love to write, and have since i was a little girl. When i was 11, I wrote a short story that actually got published in a book. It was a competition, and mine made it through... I didn't even regard it as much, but looking back now, it was a pretty awesome achievement.
I have also come to realize that I envy those highly articulate story writers terribly, and aspire to be great with words. I swear it is a blessing, or an amazing achievement that i someday hope to accomplish.

In other regards, I have been spending most of my time with my faithful, loving family. Well, that's how I see it, and the experiences I've shared with them recently only emphasizes my choice of words.

Recently, I watched this amazing movie with my sister (My Sister's Keeper), and OMG I will never, ever forget it. It's one of those amazingly crafted movies that hits home', or in other words; it touches your heart...
The movie was beautiful in itself, not to mention experiencing it with my sister... I don't think we've ever cried that hard as a result of a cinematic experience. EVER...
Wow what a SUCCESS! Gosh, I definitely want to learn the mechanisms in creating a piece of artwork like that one. It is truly amazing.
Anyway, I also got the chance to spend the whole day out with my sis and later, we randomly decided on going out to dinner (something we hardly ever do). I dined in class accompanied by my mum and sis, and I eventfully learned a thing or two about table manners and etiquette, from only the greatest teacher of all time; my mummy of course!

I also managed to spend some time with some great friends of mine in the last few days. As well as working with some great people, and being introduced to some just as awesome new folks too. Gotta love making new friends :)
Yes, things have been fab, and with Chrissie coming up next week, things are only going to get better as the festive season swings into place. The relatives' parties, the anticipated presents, the joy of giving, the possibility of going away, the endless partying of New Years, and the final days left of what was an eventful, exciting year.


And this year is going to end with a bang ;)


Have a Merry, MERRY CHRISTMAS
and a Happy, HAPPY NEW YEAR Bloggers!

Yours Truly,
Clairabelle ♥

holiday mode Claire'

Why hello little bloggers. How have you all been ?

Well for me things have been pretty average. Summer holidays are in full swing, and i am officially out of "school mode" and into "Holiday mode".
"School mode" would have to be the busy, learning, socially active, hyper side to me (that's exactly while i love school so much). Where as, my "holiday mode" would be more of a chilled out, lazy-ish, calmer, relaxed Claire.

Well say hello to holiday mode Claire, because you're about to see a hell-of-a-lot more of here round here these days.


You see, I've had a lot more ERB (Empty Restless Bored) time these days, and have undeniably become highly familiarized with the location of simple household items, than say, the location of classrooms and others.
I've also been reminiscing a lot more than usual and i got up to some researching.
I rediscovered my love for fashion, photography and art. And with some of the amazing pictures I found, you get all three of those in one!

Check out the following pictures;











How coooool yeah?! :)
I got heaps more as well.

Anyway, other than my researching (oh and working heaps), i haven't really accomplished too much. I guess it's my chill out time of the year, time for me to reflect, perhaps chill with friends, family, relatives and enjoy the upcoming festive season.
This may sound odd, but yeah I'm going to miss the convenience of school. In fact, I already do.
It's strange because often (during the year), I've been contemplating the coming of summer holidays so i can relax, hang out with friends almost everyday, and have my well earned break.
But it's as if i preferred it at school... My social life is sort of dead at the moment, or at least unwell.

I seriously don't understand how anyone could EVER quit school? It's such a necessity to me, i gotta admit; i strive off the constant learning we are exposed to in a school environment. I absoloutely LOVE IT! That's why i believe i am going to University.
My mind's already made up :)

And as for holiday mode Claire' you are hearing from right now, I am just going to enjoy this free time while I can. I am definately going to make plans woth friends as of today, and plans for myself/things to achieve personally over this period of time.
I will hopefully (finally) get my L's.
I will try and participate in extra-curriculum courses.
I will work lots and save money.
I will catch up with all the relatives I miss ever so dearly.
I will plan for the future (next year)
And I will have a great time!
:):):):):)

tooooodles, enjoy ;)

user's rant

Hmmm. Just a minor observation i have suddenly come to terms with...

Well, It figures that Blogspot is far more worthwhile, far more personal, far more meaningful
than say; Facebook or Myspace.

Did anyone else notice?
Just an observation, but oh it's true and you know it!

hehe, peace out.

"you don't know what you've got till it's gone."

Okay, moving on now.

Now that covered the 5 billion feelings of happiness and completion in the previous blog (couldn't fit it all in one), I'd like to move on to the slightly concerning situation I'm sort of involved in. Although it ain't all bad, it's good and bad. And yep you guessed it; it's got to do with a guy.

*Just a note to readers, this information is pretty private and should not be read if it doesn't have any relevance to you. This is just my own way of letting my feelings out, so please have the decency and respect the privacy of my thoughts. Just cos' it's on the web, doesn't mean it's for you to read... That's the one of the good things about the internet; having that choice. This is just a word of warning.*


Anyways, where shall I start...
So I've sort of gotten myself into yet another unfortunate predicament, concerning boys and that that funny feeling of infatuation. Thankfully it isn't my fault that the circumstances are what they are, and it can't be a (longer) term thing.

Well i met this pretty nice smart guy at school and i hooked up with him recently at a friends party. We were just friends and all, but i think now we've become something slightly more than just friends... Anyways, we've been going slow you could say, really slow in fact; we're basically at the first stage of getting to know one another (on a personal scale). And i think I've realized (after today), that there is something more between us...

Unfortunately for me, there's a BUT. A bigggg but.
You see, he's a foreign exchange student from Germany, leaving at the end of the year... FOREVER! All the gentle flirting and butterfly feelings in your stomach you get at first, all takes it's time. But NO. All in the brink of time for me?! It's not like there's a choice involved though....
But i guess that's the way things go, love takes (a whole lot) of time to develop you see. This is something we don't have...

I think today gave me a sudden realization, we both came to terms with the reality of this situation and well, it got pretty emotional. I'm not going to go into detail, but it was pretty intense. It suddenly hit us; he was leaving, and i was staying right here, and we were still at that silly, prolonged, patient first step. And we embraced each other in spite of our little time we have left.

Wow, this sounds straight out of a cliche romantic movie... that gives me some thoughts...

Anyway, I'm slowly coming to terms with this, and planning on making the most of whatever time we have left... :)

This whole situation brings me to the thought of my romantic status throughout the year and past years, and for some miss-fucking-conceived reason; I always take it for granted when it comes to guys. "You don't know what you've got till it's gone", i should really start taking that into some serious consideration...
This is the third time i got involved in something so complicated as this, and i never meant to, well who does; these things just happen.

With Aaron who lives in Canada who I've NEVER met, went out with for 6 months, and still miraculously have feelings for and trust deeply, no matter the distance and the controversial opinions of others that he was a faker.

With Jerome who was the closest thing i ever had to love, shared soooo many good, fun, happy, carefree times with, who happened to have to move to the other side of Australia after the unexpected breakup and the two weeks of silence with not even a last chance to catchup before the departure, only a phone call... And things will never be the same again.

And now this... Did you guys seem to notice a pattern? Or is that just me? Oh yeah it's my pattern, so i guess it's all me then.

But the real question is, am i bringing this upon myself? Or is this karma? Is this me contradicting myself? Or is this me just trying to 'keep my head in the game' and 'focus on gold' as i previously referred to about not falling into temptation/allowing others to protect me?
Maybe this is actually a good learning process and experience for me. Perhaps it's a weird way of communicating that you gotta live in the moment and appreciate, i mean, I'm alright in that department, but not using it in the area of love.
Maybe love isn't supposed to be a simple concept for me, just like my erratic mood changes (usually good) and constant high energy levels... If so, at least i won't be bored.


Perhaps, that's just the way it's supposed to be for me.
♥

A sense of completion, yet anticipating what's yet to come

Greetings Bloggers.

The school year has quickly come to an end and i feel......Well, pretty proud of myself, to be honest.
I gave the exams my all, studied my butt off, avoided being distracted, ignored the endless nagging to settle down (boys) and had loads of fun along the way. I also am happy to say i believe i made the RIGHT choice, in regards to subject selection for VCE :) !

Well, you see the reasons for my choice would be simply the areas of study i have an interest for, or in other words; THE SUBJECTS I WANT TO DO! For me, it's that simple. I noticed other people chose in hope of attaining a 'good enter score', therefore getting into university etc. Also having a 'back up plan' if you don't achieve your dream... What the f**k? Pardon my language, but this does not occur for me. It's not an option... I've already set my sights on what i want to be and i will do whatever it bloody well takes to get there.
Anyway, just so you know i chose; Media, Literature, Legal Studies, Psychology and *ehh*...General Maths. Introduction to these subjects (during the year 11 headstart program this week) has been SO MUCH FUN ! I EFFING LOVE MY SUBJECTS!
This is seriously giving bucket loads of motivation and much to say, a serious hype.

Wooooo, next year here i come!






It's my virtual audience! duh!^

content at last, focussed on gold :)

Hello my dearest blogger buddies (the few that i have), hows the wacky world of the web been lately? Hmmmm, how long has it been since i last blogged? Awhile i know that for sure. And you're probably wondering why? more like why not? Because there is nothing to write about!
Confused yet? keep reading :)

Well, you see, I have nothing to bitch about. No boy problems, no annoying, self absorbed pointless rambling about the oh-so-important social life, that almost every teenager prizes most highly (before everything else) these days. Nope. No Sirreey. Not today.
And that's exactly why I'm as happy as I am at this glorifying point of time.
Those addictive distractions have fortunately faded from my life at this point in time.
Just in time for exams! And i couldn't be happier.

It's different though. I look around at everyone going crazy, reminiscing wild weekends, fidgety & budging off like it doesn't mean anything. And i gotta admit, i does look fun. Fun and ohhh soo very tempting,
but i keep reminding myself that no matter how exciting it looks "on the other side", that it is much safer and much wiser in the long run, to be where i am at this point in time.
And it's not like i wouldn't know what it's like "over there"; around a month ago i was partying in up and hooking up every weekend whilst juggling 2 guys at once without ever believing that they would ever find out, not really giving a shit and not really considering the consequences of my actions. Yes, it was fun. No, it wasn't smart.

And NO it wasn't permanent; I ended it (with both), which obviously left me with none of them. Which i knew that i deserved. Now i only have myself to worry about.
But it's good, it's simple, it's clean.
Time for me to focus, stop being distracted, and get my head in the game.
AND NOTHING OR NOBODY IS GOING TO STOP ME! :)
I'm going to study and I'm going to learn.
And learn from my actions and learn from the actions of others.
Because my goal is plain and simple; to work to the very best of my ability and don't stop until i reach my goals, without being distracted, without giving into temptations... It's just not an option for me.

So succcccckkkk on that fella's!
hehehehehehhehehe.
orevoir sexxxy's :) x

take me away

You know the feeling, everyone gets it once in awhile, you don't mean to, but sometimes you just need a break. A possible change of surroundings, a break in the everyday routine; somewhere unknown, somewhere secluded? somewhere new and exciting, full of endless possibilities just waiting to be seen... Man do i need a holiday ! :)

You know this feeling as well; too much homework, too many responsibilities, too many obligations yet not enough time. Everything to worry about/consider, not enough spontaneous bursts of fun and things planned just for fun's sake.
Gotta love the sober feeling of being a responsible, mature adult (nottttt!) Thankfully, I am not quite there yet, and don't think i will ever fully "sober up"...

Hence the fact that i haven't been able to stop reminiscing past childhood memories from SPRING in previous years, lately.
I even had a really strrrrrange dream recently, where toys from my past and accessories were totally and completely neglected; hidden in an old box, stashed away somewhere to be forgotten about.
And in this creepy dream, i found them again. I could hardly remember them until i opened the box and then everything just came back to me.
I also remember paying extreme attention to detail when i was looking at the random toys, it was like they were whispering to me and crying, because they didn't want me to forget about them... Hmmm...
Then all i remember after that was my mum calling me so i jumped out of bed, scared as hell, and went downstairs only to find out she never called me?

What could this mean? Am i leaving my childhood behind? Adjusting to the stressful, continuous drag of working constantly, balancing school and learning that time is precious and must not be wasted doing unnecessary things such as bludging?

Well you know what, I'm not going to grow up that fast
I still believe in doing things just for the sake of having fun, and quite frankly, i miss it, that's why i believe a holiday is in order. But, yes i am in no position right now to go on holiday, simply because of my family's circumstances. BUT, that doesn't mean i can't trick myself into thinking i am on one.
It's very simple, me and my mum have actually done it before.
All you need to do it believe it.
:) x

get out of the comefort zone!

Hey guys. Another week gone by, and i think i may be getting into a regular pattern, for writing these blogs. Fascinating.


I recently acknowledged a few things about myself that i hadn't noticed about myself in the past and i think it's always good to identify certain qualities in yourself; therefore, you know what to look for in others, and you know what they would expect to find in you... and it makes you feel great! :)
Well, i know i obtain absolutely NO skills whatsoever of multitasking. I tend to put all my effort into one thing, (that's usually a lot of effort) rather than scattering it by doing various tasks where my mind would be all over the place. Although sometimes this can be bad (putting so much effort into one thing) Eg. exams, because it makes you slower at it, and when put to the clock, you tend to run out of time. This is something I MUST WORK ON, before exams start.

Secondly, i realised that I AM REALLY NOT A FAN OF COMPUTERS...?!?! Well, the internet..
This is one of the only websites i ever go on. I really don't understand everyone's constant obsession with these machines. And the internet.... if I'm on it for over half an hour, i will usually get bored.
Give me a book, over an internet research task any day and i'll take it.
It's pretty hard to admit this dislike when most of the world's population including my sister, mum and dad and almost all of my friends, are hooked, leaving me a ratio of like 1:1000 000...
Maybe it's the infinite amount of convenience, placed upon it all, that has drastically grasped the minds of this generation, but then again, maybe they see it differently..
I think we should use it in moderation only.

Oh that brings me to another thought that has been thrust upon me in these past two weeks. This is how it goes;
Have you ever felt so comfortable when and where you are that you don't feel like moving? Don't lie, because we all have.
When you're comefortable, you don't feel like moving and if you don't move for too long, you become stagnent.
Translate that into litteral format and you become a non-achiever; this is what i like to call the comefort zone. And it's not a good zone to be in, trust me.
This applies with everything from money to relationships.

We humans are naturally born to achieve and succeed. But these days, it seems more and more people are slipping into this comefort zone due to the simple convienience of technology.

Maybe this is why I'm not a fan of the ever growing "everything at your fingertips" convienience of the internet and it's powers. So when you can view/find out everything from your computer screen, why get off your ass and find out the hard way?
It's because we need it. We need the challenge and we need the determination.
Just imagine those people who have nothing, those poor people affected by poverty and homelessness, and sometimes, when they truly put their minds to it, they end up succeeding and achieving their dreams. From nothing...
Now where's the convenience there?


Where as us, we have the choice. We are one of the luckiest countries in the world because we have that added luxuary and endless amounts of choices, we have the choice to be comefortable and stagnent or we have the choice to strive to be better, and achieve our dreams.


Which one would you pick ?

so this is what being hungover feels like..

Well well well. not really feeling up to scratch right now.

Yes, i had another chaotic but EXTREMELY fun weekend (i could soooo get used to this!)
...two parties in a row, again. I FREAKING LOVE IT. Oh, but not that kaput feeling you get after it all ends. mehh..

Friday night; worked the funnest shift ever. Not being judgmental or anything, but all the besssst people were on shift. Hehe i was so hypo woooooo. Although, i really am starting to get sick of constantly Order taking in Drive thru.

Then for Saturday night, Monique's party.. It was pretty good. Danced the night away! I swear, i don't think i'll EVER get sick of DANCING! (no matter how bad the blisters lol) And the music was good as :)

Sunday night; Kathleen's party/get together. WOW that was hectic.
Everyone was drinking so much.. including the year 9's (they are too young) and i remember drinking 3 bottles of mixed stuff, and that's when things started spinning.. From then drinks just coming and coming, everything mixed. That's really bad for you..
I woke up then next morning with the bigggggest headache in the world and ended up vomiting in her backyard. OMG i swear, i am not drinking that much ever again... It aint worth the gross feeling you get the next day, seriously.

Anyways, it was a crazy ass night which has unfortunately, now landed me confused & guilty once again, just when i thought i had made up my mind about this situation i have going. Refer to previous blog*
But i gotta admit; it was so much fun
Here's to the holidays!
WOOOOOOOOO

ouveidersein x
(german..ish)

on not such a serious note...

Wow, reading my blogs sure seem like a boy obsessed, wanna-be lover girl ...
Oh but don't worry, I'm not :)
just lately it's been haunting & daunting me, that's all.


Focus claire......focus.
anyways, :) it's almost holidays.

IT"S ALMOST WHAT......?!

IT'S ALMOST FCUKING HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaahhaha.

yeeeeeah biatch time to sleep like a motha fucka ;)
and party till the sun comes up
socialize to the max! ;)



I SOOOO NEED THE REST.
CHEERS TO HOLIDAYS!



hip hip



HORAY



hip hip



HORAY



:D !!!!!!




P.S. My mind is to be made up after holidays, when I'm not under so much pressure, and in such an urgent neeed of time.


PEACE OUT X HOMIES.

Lost in translation & yearning like a bitch ?

Wow, yet another week jam-packed full of action, energy & mixed emotions.. i think I'm on a roll...

Seriously, i feel i am constantly on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
IT DOES MY HEAD IN. Or maybe this is just the hype of adolescence..

Wow where to start...

for some of the emotions i experienced;

- think -

patience
questioning
loss of patience
temper mental
searching
confused
flirty
embarrassment
( ( guilt ) )
focused.
hyper
ecstatic
overjoyed
happy relief
talkative
realization
love
hopeful
determined
thankful
busy
stressed
under pressure
had enough
warmth (from the hot weather)
hyper/tired
infatuated?
intense
adored
confused
exhausted!
wrecked.


- Yes, you can call that a summary, of the highlights & low lights of my week. -

But most importantly, the re-occurring, and unavoidable emotion;
it would have to be confusion
guilt
and... infatuation.

And for some reason; it's highly addictive
Like a (forbidden) fantasy
Like an untold desire
Like a drug

Then i ask myself...
Why does it have to be so damn hard to determine the difference between infatuation and... love?
Why is it right (or wrong) to choose one person over another?
Why is it when your brain makes an (informed) choice, your heart will often disobey (given no reason at all) ?
Why can't you just remain neither here nor there?
Why is it so.......................... ?


My week started off crazy, most definitely from the prolonging aftermath of the greatest weekend of all time!
Although, i was a little anxious & well and truly guilty, for sometimes fun & crazyness leads to others getting hurt.
I decided to take the Monday off, because there is a needed part of your life where you must rest and recover (this is something i neeed to work on!)
But i couldn't help but feel guilty & slightly cowardly for not showing up.

As the week progressed i found myself in a position where, i had to compare all the good & bad aspects to make an informed decision.

That is sometimes a fairly easy thing to do, but not when it's about other people... and emotions...
that's when things get complicated.

I could not help but feel like a bitch after that.
But, (knowing me), i decided to hold it off for just a little bit longer.
So, days went by, and i just put it aside.

But the more i kept avoiding it, the more it haunted me.
And the more it played on my mind, the more confused i became.


And now... i really don't know where i stand :( :S
I thought i knew... but i guess that was my brain talking not my heart's... desire ....?

What is the difference between love and lust ?

How do you know? because quite frankly, i am pretty stuck right now.
Trying to make sense of my feelings is not an easy thing. TRUST ME
All these random mixed signals ain't helping either.
And the way I've been acting is inexcusable
I really need to get my head around this.
Make up my mind, (or my heart which ever it is?)
and not end up hurting anyone.
But yes, i have a feeling, that either way someone is going to get hurt.
And the longer i drag it on, the worse it is going to be on everyone involved, all because i can't make up my mind...?!?!?!!
.....................................


MY RESPONSE:



I'll get back to you.
ex oh ex oh ♥

alot of random thoughts :)

Well first of all,
I'm assuming that nobody will be bothered reading this, because honestly it isn't really any of their business...except for shaniz :) hahahaha.

Anyways, now that i got that off my chest (applies for all blogs i write:P!)
hmmmmmmm.
where do i start, wow so many thoughts in my mind right now...i guess it helps that I'm writing this to let them out & organize them into some sort of order, because right now, I'm wondering how I'll be able to sleep with this feeling of disorder. When i usually feel like this at school, i tend to RUN AROUND like a mothaf**ker and JUMP like a "hyperactive bunny on extacy" (direct quotes!) but i'm not really in the time and place for that right now.

So i'll try and fill you in as best as i can.

Well, the main & (oh-so giggle worthy) thought on my mind would be BOYS.
BOYS BOYS BOYS!
the unavoidable yet enjoyable attention that is drawn to any female.
I probably shouldn't be focussing on boys at this point in my life; with so many opportunities and important descisions to make, how can i even cope?
Well i guess that's adolescence for you.

I recently broke out of a relationship, resulting many many arguments & finally there is nothing more to say & he moves away. Is it just me, or is that somewhat cliche?? Anyway, i'll save that story for another day.

Although, aside from all the fighting, we did end up learning alot from that experience, and that naturally took alot of time to process.

to be contined after dinner LOL :)

BACKKKK.
Ok, unfortunately, i have lost most of those thoughts i had before, moved on to other thoughts now..but I'm not going to go into all of them otherwise, i will be here all day :P

Alright, as for a brief summary of what i was thinking previously;

BOYS. As for me, as i told you before, i just recently got out of a relationship with a guy and for now i am trying to focus on other (more relevant) aspirations.
I am not trying to get myself into another relationship. But for some odd reason, (now of all times) a heap of guys are trying to get to know me personally. I know this sounds highly vein and all, but i don't need it all right now, although i know i enjoy that attention but at the same time it is creating a distraction; a highly addictive distraction.
And it's ever so contradicting, but i do appreciate it all, although it does place a lot more pressure on me. It's like some sort of game of temptation; very very tempting, but once you give in you lose the rush. For me right now, i just need to focus on me. My welfare, my responsibilities, my decisions, my goals and my life.
And to continue simply being me without getting distracted along the way:)


GOODNIGHT X
time for my precious (RANDOM) dreams to take it's course.......

loving my doggy

gosh, i cant help but adore my beautiful, little puppy; Ludo who has been keeping me company this past week and fullfilling my need of social interation. Woooo0 he's the cutest dog going round! x