Monday, October 5, 2009

get out of the comefort zone!

Hey guys. Another week gone by, and i think i may be getting into a regular pattern, for writing these blogs. Fascinating.


I recently acknowledged a few things about myself that i hadn't noticed about myself in the past and i think it's always good to identify certain qualities in yourself; therefore, you know what to look for in others, and you know what they would expect to find in you... and it makes you feel great! :)
Well, i know i obtain absolutely NO skills whatsoever of multitasking. I tend to put all my effort into one thing, (that's usually a lot of effort) rather than scattering it by doing various tasks where my mind would be all over the place. Although sometimes this can be bad (putting so much effort into one thing) Eg. exams, because it makes you slower at it, and when put to the clock, you tend to run out of time. This is something I MUST WORK ON, before exams start.

Secondly, i realised that I AM REALLY NOT A FAN OF COMPUTERS...?!?! Well, the internet..
This is one of the only websites i ever go on. I really don't understand everyone's constant obsession with these machines. And the internet.... if I'm on it for over half an hour, i will usually get bored.
Give me a book, over an internet research task any day and i'll take it.
It's pretty hard to admit this dislike when most of the world's population including my sister, mum and dad and almost all of my friends, are hooked, leaving me a ratio of like 1:1000 000...
Maybe it's the infinite amount of convenience, placed upon it all, that has drastically grasped the minds of this generation, but then again, maybe they see it differently..
I think we should use it in moderation only.

Oh that brings me to another thought that has been thrust upon me in these past two weeks. This is how it goes;
Have you ever felt so comfortable when and where you are that you don't feel like moving? Don't lie, because we all have.
When you're comefortable, you don't feel like moving and if you don't move for too long, you become stagnent.
Translate that into litteral format and you become a non-achiever; this is what i like to call the comefort zone. And it's not a good zone to be in, trust me.
This applies with everything from money to relationships.

We humans are naturally born to achieve and succeed. But these days, it seems more and more people are slipping into this comefort zone due to the simple convienience of technology.

Maybe this is why I'm not a fan of the ever growing "everything at your fingertips" convienience of the internet and it's powers. So when you can view/find out everything from your computer screen, why get off your ass and find out the hard way?
It's because we need it. We need the challenge and we need the determination.
Just imagine those people who have nothing, those poor people affected by poverty and homelessness, and sometimes, when they truly put their minds to it, they end up succeeding and achieving their dreams. From nothing...
Now where's the convenience there?


Where as us, we have the choice. We are one of the luckiest countries in the world because we have that added luxuary and endless amounts of choices, we have the choice to be comefortable and stagnent or we have the choice to strive to be better, and achieve our dreams.


Which one would you pick ?



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Sunday, September 20, 2009

so this is what being hungover feels like..

Well well well. not really feeling up to scratch right now.

Yes, i had another chaotic but EXTREMELY fun weekend (i could soooo get used to this!)
...two parties in a row, again. I FREAKING LOVE IT. Oh, but not that kaput feeling you get after it all ends. mehh..

Friday night;
worked the funnest shift ever. Not being judgmental or anything, but all the besssst people were on shift. Hehe i was so hypo woooooo. Although, i really am starting to get sick of constantly Order taking in Drive thru.


Then for Saturday night, Monique's party.. It was pretty good. Danced the night away! I swear, i don't think i'll EVER get sick of DANCING! (no matter how bad the blisters lol) And the music was good as :)


Sunday night;
Kathleen's party/get together. WOW that was hectic.

Everyone was drinking so much.. including the year 9's (they are too young) and i remember drinking 3 bottles of mixed stuff, and that's when things started spinning.. From then drinks just coming and coming, everything mixed. That's really bad for you..
I woke up then next morning with the bigggggest headache in the world and ended up vomiting in her backyard. OMG i swear, i am not drinking that much ever again... It aint worth the gross feeling you get the next day, seriously.

Anyways, it was a crazy ass night which has unfortunately, now landed me confused & guilty once again, just when i thought i had made up my mind about this situation i have going. Refer to previous blog*
But i gotta admit; it was so much fun
Here's to the holidays!
WOOOOOOOOO

ouveidersein x
(german..ish)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

on not such a serious note...

Wow, reading my blogs sure seem like a boy obsessed, wanna-be lover girl ...
Oh but don't worry, I'm not :)
just lately it's been haunting & daunting me, that's all.


Focus claire......focus.
anyways, :) it's almost holidays.

IT"S ALMOST WHAT......?!

IT'S ALMOST FCUKING HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaahhaha.

yeeeeeah biatch time to sleep like a motha fucka ;)
and party till the sun comes up
socialize to the max! ;)



I SOOOO NEED THE REST.
CHEERS TO HOLIDAYS!



hip hip




HORAY




hip hip




HORAY




:D !!!!!!




P.S. My mind is to be made up after holidays, when I'm not under so much pressure, and in such an urgent neeed of time.


PEACE OUT X
HOMIES.

Lost in translation & yearning like a bitch ?

Wow, yet another week jam-packed full of action, energy & mixed emotions.. i think I'm on a roll...

Seriously,
i feel i am constantly on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
IT DOES MY HEAD IN. Or maybe this is just the hype of adolescence..

Wow where to start...


for some of the emotions i experienced;
- think -
patience
questioning
loss of patience
temper mental
searching
confused
flirty
embarrassment
( ( guilt ) )
focused.
hyper
ecstatic

overjoyed
happy relief
talkative
realization
love
hopeful
determined
thankful

busy
stressed
under pressure
had enough
warmth (from the hot weather)
hyper/tired
infatuated?
intense
adored
confused
exhausted!
wrecked.


- Yes, you can call that a summary, of the highlights & low lights of my week. -

But most importantly, the re-occurring, and unavoidable emotion;
it would have to be confusion
guilt
and... infatuation.


And for some reason; it's highly addictive
Like a (forbidden) fantasy
Like an untold desire
Like a drug

Then i ask myself...
Why does it have to be so damn hard to determine the difference between infatuation and... love?
Why is it right (or wrong) to choose one person over another?
Why is it when your brain makes an (informed) choice, your heart will often disobey (given no reason at all) ?
Why can't you just remain neither here nor there?
Why is it so.......................... ?


My week started off crazy, most definitely from the prolonging aftermath of the greatest weekend of all time!
Although, i was a little anxious & well and truly guilty, for sometimes fun & crazyness leads to others getting hurt.
I decided to take the Monday off, because there is a needed part of your life where you must rest and recover (this is something i neeed to work on!)
But i couldn't help but feel guilty & slightly cowardly for not showing up.


As the week progressed i found myself in a position where, i had to compare all the good & bad aspects to make an
informed decision.

That is sometimes a fairly easy thing to do, but not when it's about other people... and emotions...
that's when things get complicated.

I could not help but feel like
a bitch after that.
But, (knowing me), i decided to hold it off for just a little bit longer.
So, days went by, and i just put it aside.

But the more i kept avoiding it, the more it haunted me.
And the more it played on my mind, the more confused i became.


And now... i really don't know where i stand :( :S
I thought i knew... but i guess that was my brain talking not my heart's... desire ....?

What is the difference between love and lust ?

How do you know? because quite frankly, i am pretty stuck right now.
Trying to make sense of my feelings is not an easy thing. TRUST ME
All these random mixed signals ain't helping either.
And the way I've been acting is inexcusable
I really need to get my head around this.
Make up my mind, (or my heart which ever it is?)
and not end up hurting anyone.
But yes, i have a feeling, that either way someone is going to get hurt.
And the longer i drag it on, the worse it is going to be on everyone involved, all because i can't make up my mind...?!?!?!!
.....................................


MY RESPONSE:



I'll get back to you.
ex oh ex oh ♥







Tuesday, August 18, 2009

alot of random thoughts :)

Well first of all,
I'm assuming that nobody will be bothered reading this, because honestly it isn't really any of their business...except for shaniz :) hahahaha.

Anyways, now that i got that off my chest (applies for all blogs i write:P!)
hmmmmmmm.
where do i start, wow so many thoughts in my mind right now...i guess it helps that I'm writing this to let them out & organize them into some sort of order, because right now, I'm wondering how I'll be able to sleep with this feeling of disorder. When i usually feel like this at school, i tend to RUN AROUND like a mothaf**ker and JUMP like a "hyperactive bunny on extacy" (direct quotes!) but i'm not really in the time and place for that right now.

So i'll try and fill you in as best as i can.

Well, the main & (oh-so giggle worthy) thought on my mind would be BOYS.

BOYS BOYS BOYS!
the unavoidable yet enjoyable attention that is drawn to any female.
I probably shouldn't be focussing on boys at this point in my life; with so many opportunities and important descisions to make, how can i even cope?
Well i guess that's adolescence for you.

I recently broke out of a relationship, resulting many many arguments & finally there is nothing more to say & he moves away. Is it just me, or is that somewhat cliche?? Anyway, i'll save that story for another day.

Although, aside from all the fighting, we did end up learning alot from that experience, and that naturally took alot of time to process.


to be contined after dinner LOL :)

BACKKKK.
Ok, unfortunately, i have lost most of those thoughts i had before, moved on to other thoughts now..but I'm not going to go into all of them otherwise, i will be here all day :P

Alright, as for a brief summary of what i was thinking previously;

BOYS.
As for me, as i told you before, i just recently got out of a relationship with a guy and for now i am trying to focus on other (more relevant) aspirations.
I am not trying to get myself into another relationship. But for some odd reason, (now of all times) a heap of guys are trying to get to know me personally. I know this sounds highly vein and all, but i don't need it all right now, although i know i enjoy that attention but at the same time it is creating a distraction;
a highly addictive distraction.
And it's ever so contradicting, but i do appreciate it all, although it does place a lot more pressure on me. It's like some sort of game of temptation; very very tempting, but once you give in you lose the rush. For me right now, i just need to focus on me. My welfare, my responsibilities, my decisions, my goals and my life.
And to continue simply being me without getting distracted along the way:)


GOODNIGHT X
time for my precious (RANDOM) dreams to take it's course.......