so this is what being hungover feels like..

Well well well. not really feeling up to scratch right now.

Yes, i had another chaotic but EXTREMELY fun weekend (i could soooo get used to this!)
...two parties in a row, again. I FREAKING LOVE IT. Oh, but not that kaput feeling you get after it all ends. mehh..

Friday night; worked the funnest shift ever. Not being judgmental or anything, but all the besssst people were on shift. Hehe i was so hypo woooooo. Although, i really am starting to get sick of constantly Order taking in Drive thru.

Then for Saturday night, Monique's party.. It was pretty good. Danced the night away! I swear, i don't think i'll EVER get sick of DANCING! (no matter how bad the blisters lol) And the music was good as :)

Sunday night; Kathleen's party/get together. WOW that was hectic.
Everyone was drinking so much.. including the year 9's (they are too young) and i remember drinking 3 bottles of mixed stuff, and that's when things started spinning.. From then drinks just coming and coming, everything mixed. That's really bad for you..
I woke up then next morning with the bigggggest headache in the world and ended up vomiting in her backyard. OMG i swear, i am not drinking that much ever again... It aint worth the gross feeling you get the next day, seriously.

Anyways, it was a crazy ass night which has unfortunately, now landed me confused & guilty once again, just when i thought i had made up my mind about this situation i have going. Refer to previous blog*
But i gotta admit; it was so much fun
Here's to the holidays!
WOOOOOOOOO

ouveidersein x
(german..ish)

on not such a serious note...

Wow, reading my blogs sure seem like a boy obsessed, wanna-be lover girl ...
Oh but don't worry, I'm not :)
just lately it's been haunting & daunting me, that's all.


Focus claire......focus.
anyways, :) it's almost holidays.

IT"S ALMOST WHAT......?!

IT'S ALMOST FCUKING HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaahhaha.

yeeeeeah biatch time to sleep like a motha fucka ;)
and party till the sun comes up
socialize to the max! ;)



I SOOOO NEED THE REST.
CHEERS TO HOLIDAYS!



hip hip



HORAY



hip hip



HORAY



:D !!!!!!




P.S. My mind is to be made up after holidays, when I'm not under so much pressure, and in such an urgent neeed of time.


PEACE OUT X HOMIES.

Lost in translation & yearning like a bitch ?

Wow, yet another week jam-packed full of action, energy & mixed emotions.. i think I'm on a roll...

Seriously, i feel i am constantly on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
IT DOES MY HEAD IN. Or maybe this is just the hype of adolescence..

Wow where to start...

for some of the emotions i experienced;

- think -

patience
questioning
loss of patience
temper mental
searching
confused
flirty
embarrassment
( ( guilt ) )
focused.
hyper
ecstatic
overjoyed
happy relief
talkative
realization
love
hopeful
determined
thankful
busy
stressed
under pressure
had enough
warmth (from the hot weather)
hyper/tired
infatuated?
intense
adored
confused
exhausted!
wrecked.


- Yes, you can call that a summary, of the highlights & low lights of my week. -

But most importantly, the re-occurring, and unavoidable emotion;
it would have to be confusion
guilt
and... infatuation.

And for some reason; it's highly addictive
Like a (forbidden) fantasy
Like an untold desire
Like a drug

Then i ask myself...
Why does it have to be so damn hard to determine the difference between infatuation and... love?
Why is it right (or wrong) to choose one person over another?
Why is it when your brain makes an (informed) choice, your heart will often disobey (given no reason at all) ?
Why can't you just remain neither here nor there?
Why is it so.......................... ?


My week started off crazy, most definitely from the prolonging aftermath of the greatest weekend of all time!
Although, i was a little anxious & well and truly guilty, for sometimes fun & crazyness leads to others getting hurt.
I decided to take the Monday off, because there is a needed part of your life where you must rest and recover (this is something i neeed to work on!)
But i couldn't help but feel guilty & slightly cowardly for not showing up.

As the week progressed i found myself in a position where, i had to compare all the good & bad aspects to make an informed decision.

That is sometimes a fairly easy thing to do, but not when it's about other people... and emotions...
that's when things get complicated.

I could not help but feel like a bitch after that.
But, (knowing me), i decided to hold it off for just a little bit longer.
So, days went by, and i just put it aside.

But the more i kept avoiding it, the more it haunted me.
And the more it played on my mind, the more confused i became.


And now... i really don't know where i stand :( :S
I thought i knew... but i guess that was my brain talking not my heart's... desire ....?

What is the difference between love and lust ?

How do you know? because quite frankly, i am pretty stuck right now.
Trying to make sense of my feelings is not an easy thing. TRUST ME
All these random mixed signals ain't helping either.
And the way I've been acting is inexcusable
I really need to get my head around this.
Make up my mind, (or my heart which ever it is?)
and not end up hurting anyone.
But yes, i have a feeling, that either way someone is going to get hurt.
And the longer i drag it on, the worse it is going to be on everyone involved, all because i can't make up my mind...?!?!?!!
.....................................


MY RESPONSE:



I'll get back to you.
ex oh ex oh ♥